"There's life as it is, and life how we think it should be. The more we cling to the latter the more we struggle" - @headspace There's something about this time of year, for several years in a row life's just thrown everything up in the air and left me to find all the pieces and make-shift my life back together. It's like this heavy August cloud of depression. I don't know if it happens to anybody else at a particular time of the year but for me and my sister August seems to be one of the worst months. I mean, for me it's been mildly self inflicted 2 years in a row but it's uncomfortable none the less. August (in Australia) is the last month of winter leading into spring, it's the time of year that there's new growth and the natural world busies itself to in preparation for spring. This time last year I broke my own heart and someone I cared abouts, my dog got sick and stayed in hospital for a few days, I moved several times, and life felt so incredibly uncertain and unsteady. I'm here a year later having made some changes yet again, career wise (kinda), I have a housemate moving out, I had someone mess with my feelings and I've got this picture in my head of the way life should be.. and I know I need to let go of it because it's that holding on to how things should be that's making it all the more difficult to process. They say growth is uncomfortable, painful even and learning to move past or through it is the trick. I guess in a way this change, these struggles are getting me ready for spring metaphorically speaking. Growth is hard but bring on that new life, that freshness, and all that beauty that comes with spring and a fresh perspective! ________________________________________ PC @smphotography_ig #august#hardtimes#headspace#challenges#thoughts#infj#thoughtsofaninfj#spring#frameofmind#hardlife#letgo#lettinggo#heartbreak#changes#howitshouldbe#howitis#uncertain#anxiety#depression#real#beautiful#selfie#love
I've had this conversation with a few close friends lately as we were preparing for this trip. I have had a lot of anxiety around sleep and control with my kids. After talking about it it was obvious that a lot of it had to do with the fact that Layton was not a good sleeper until we finally sleep trained at 10 months old. I finally felt empowered and in control of something I had previously felt helpless and exhausted over. But I also realized it went further than that. I lost control when Layton's birth didn't go to plan. I lost control when nursing was a struggle. I lost control when we stopped measuring pumped milk and finally went back to breast and I no longer had any idea how much he was eating. So I find myself a little crazy about the things I CAN control. - And then we go on this vacation. And we have no schedule. Every day is different and new and exciting and my kids are on sensory overload and exploring everything. And I could easily see myself breaking down and losing my mind over the lack of control. And there have been plenty of things that have made me anxious. But I have also been VERY proud of myself. I'm exhausted and one or boths kids have kept me up every night since we've been here. But tonight we were at a local party and I let go of it all. Layton walked around dragging some stranger by the pinky. He ate a chocolate cupcake for dinner. We were surrounded by recreational activities. The kids were up too late. And you know what? Everyone was fine. And it happened to be the smoothest bedtime in a loooong time. It felt like I was being rewarded. Like a cosmic pat on the back. - I'm looking forward to getting home and finding our groove again but I'm taking comfort in knowing we can survive without it. - - - - #motherhood#anxiety#tiredasamother#pnwmama#momoftwo#two2andunder#lifewithababy#lifewithatoddler#lettinggo#letthembelittle#vacationmode#summerfun#partyonthehill#bedtimeroutines#oregonmom
***Warning, I'm bending*** I've failed this before and it's time to make it happen, one Bikram session every day for ten days straight. Aiming for clarity & to clean any shit hiding within, letting go to attain something better!!! #yoga#youcandoit#youknowwhereillbe#lettinggo
I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt I was walking down a familiar street and a saw someone from my past that I was no longer in contact with. I started walking faster hoping they wouldn’t see me, but I could hear their footsteps fast approaching behind me. And even though I was trying to avoid them...when they caught up to me I had no words, all I could do was hug them and cry. They weren’t tears of sadness, they were...relief. Through those dream tears I was able to finally release the resentments I had been holding in. And just like that I was able to let go. Wow. And Weird. And it was time. And it felt good. Photo @brooklyndphotography Makeup @jasminehoffman Hair @vampdrybar
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With it back to school there’s so much hustle and bustle of new energy. As your children start embark on a new journey, knowing by the end of the school year they will be older, wiser and more independent. This is a time of celebration as your child(ren) are entering a new identity and reaching one more step to adulthood. (Yes, scary to think about that one day they will be full grown adults!) There’s a grieving process that goes on. Even if your child(ren) aren’t old enough for school, as parents we are always needing to let go what they once were. As they go from infant to toddler to preschool into school age and beyond... It’s one of the hard parts of being a mother, letting go. As we let go and allow our children to do more for themselves it can leave a mother feeling unsure of herself. Where is her place in this world as her child(ren) get older? When she’s not needed to do everything? It can lead you questioning what is my purpose in life? What do I want to do with myself now that I have all this time and space? Comment below if you’re feeling this as the kiddos start up school and get older? What’s the hardest part of letting go for you as a parent?